Do you know a child who seems really confident? They are often the first to speak out, the first one to volunteer and, often, they are present even before you have asked.
We all know the image of the iceberg, where there is only a small part of it showing above the surface. Have you considered that the child in front of you is showing you the top of their iceberg and it is completely different from what lies beneath the surface?
What if the part you see is confident, always quick to volunteer, strong to speak out? They often seem self-assured, sometimes even over-confident? They will be prepared to try things that others hesitate on or take time to consider. They may seem to be full of bravado, especially if they are a boy.
This kind of child can be easy for adults to notice but sometimes not so popular with other children. This child often gets the adults’ attention, maybe for positive reasons and maybe simply for their behaviour being impossible to ignore.
But do we need to stop to see what’s beneath the surface?
This child may be masking anxiety, a deep-seated vulnerability, because a child who is struggling with their wellbeing will often try to compensate by putting up a kind of armour to protect themselves from being hurt.
Something that many people misunderstand is that while girls are often better at putting words to their worries, boys can have really strong, deep-seated emotions and struggle to find effective ways to express them.
This is why our relationship with every child is so important. So take time to pause, be available, and to truly listen, or simply be alongside them when they want to know someone is there.
Supporting a child who is struggling with their emotional wellbeing, both boys and girls, is so important. Take time, make time, make connections that count.
We may see a child who is full of bravado, but under the surface they are not feeling brave at all.
To find out more about how to support your children with their emotional wellbeing, or to better understand what lies beneath the surface with your boy, join me on my forthcoming small group parent workshops below.
I also offer one-to-one parent consultations and training for teachers in Early Years and Primary schools and settings.