Today storm Darcy was forecast. My tipi fell down, the storm was building, I had to decide what to do so, after weighing up the options, I did damage limitation. I removed the things which would get damaged and I weighed down the canvas to avoid it ripping or blowing away, to keep it from harm.
What has this got to do with managing behaviour?
The truth is, that when a child is struggling with their emotions and is expressing them in a strong and physical way, sometimes the very best thing for us to do is to keep them safe. We are not going to be able to find out what caused the problem, we are not going to be able to repair the problem. In the moment, when the child is behaving in a way that they cannot currently control, our job is to remove the things which could harm them or others. The very best we can do is to keep them safe, stay close by and be patient, until the storm has passed.
A very wise colleague of mine, Sonya Hinton from the Sabre Trust, has developed a checklist for how we respond to unexpected or unwanted behaviour. The first three letters stand for Avoid, Anticipate and Adapt. I couldn't avoid the storm. I suppose I could have anticipated and either taken down my tipi or put up the storm guy ropes, I did check that the regular guy ropes were tight but had not accounted for the combination of the sodden ground and the wind. I had not made any adaptations.
The two Rs stand for Respond and Repair.
I took one look at the tipi and the wind picking up, this was not the right time for repair, that would come later. What I did was respond, to the situation at hand. I removed the things which could be harmed and put damage limitation in place.
If you have a little person who struggles with their emotions and how to respond to their big feelings appropriately, then damage limitation, responding to the situation and keeping them and others safe is the best and only way to respond to their behaviour.
Once the storm has passed, then is the time for repair and perhaps analysis and adaptation to avoid the situation happening again.
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