Elves are seasonal folk, and I have been watching carefully as some little people close to my heart have recently been visited by a fairly modern Christmas character, the Elf on the Shelf.
I watch this new custom from a safe distance. I enjoy seeing the innovation of the Elf's escapades as he wraps the Christmas tree in toilet roll, zip wires across the kitchen, puts all the socks in the fridge and many other adventures. In many families, the Elf is just a cheeky character playing a new prank each night. But in a few families, the children are told he is watching their every move, reporting back to Santa as to whether they have been naughty or nice. I get how much fun the Elf on the Shelf is, but I care to bet there are some children who hate the Elf and I would even venture to say that some are scared of him.
Why has this new tradition caught on?
Marketing is a large part of it, as there must be thousands of Elves sold. Children themselves seeing their friends’ Elves are keen to participate and the media may encourage it too. But the person who makes this happen (close your ears, kids) is the parent. They are the one who goes to all that trouble and makes all that lovely fun for the children. But does the aspect of the Elf that could be seen as the Big Brother character keep some of the children's more challenging behaviour in check? ELF-REGULATION, you might say!
There are times when, as parents, we need to be in control, especially when our children are younger or when they are in new situations. But as they grow, we need to find ways of encouraging and promoting not ELF-REGULATION but SELF-REGULATION.
In order to promote this, we have to step back a little, still be there to catch our children when they fall but allow them to make mistakes in a safe context and to learn from them.
Maybe Christmas, with all its busyness, isn't the time to begin this. But in schools and family settings, we need to help our children switch on the 'RADAR of SELF-REGULATION', take a moment to think before they act and consider the consequences of their actions (naughty or nice) and the needs of others - throughout the year.
If I can help you with this, do take a look at our self-regulation webinar and menu of workshops for professionals, or reach out to us at the Contact Us page or at office@alimcclure.co.uk.
Ali