This morning I had a decision to make, I was wrapped up warmly in my bed. It was 5.30 am. The world would not have judged me if I had stayed there - most rational people would. But I found myself drawn to get up, throw on some clothes and head outside to the beach - and my, was I glad I did. The view that awaited me was stunning…
I am staying on the east coast of our beautiful country, with flat landscapes and wide seas. As the clouds gradually changed from reds to oranges to bright yellow, I was alone to see the most glorious sunrise. It stirred up so many emotions in me. It made me feel small, humble, blessed to be a tiny part of this fresh new day ahead.
Now, putting the slushy, poetic stuff aside, when I was in bed I had to make a choice. Should I stay in my nice warm bed? If I had, the prize would have been a lie-in, the price - I would have missed the glorious sunrise. How did I know the sunrise was worth getting up for? Because I had experienced it once before; my lovely hubby has an innate connection with the moon and the stars; he always knows what the weather will be, when the sun will rise. Earlier that week he had 'encouraged' me out of bed and shared with me the joys of the east coast sunrise. Having experienced this once (now he has headed back to the smoke) I was able to motivate myself; I knew that the beauty, the breeze, the gentle lapping of the waves would be worth the price of getting up. Initially, it may have been an extrinsic motivator, but it was offered by someone who knows me well, and knew the joys of the new day would chime with me. But today, I chose the path myself. I had experienced that positive experience once, and was prepared to give up my soft bed to experience it again.
The journey I took meant that I had to make a sacrifice - the price was my warm bed but the prize, and what a prize, was the glorious dawn with the swallows skimming the sea and the breeze on my face.
In order for children to begin to make these 'prize and price' decision for themselves, they need to have experienced positives, experiences and emotions shared by people who care for them, things that make them feel good, happy, emotionally recharged. .
We do not want children to get hooked on cheaply given extrinsic rewards but we do want them to know the feeling that comes with experiencing something that makes them feel good, something simple, something repeatable, something that they can take control of to help them grow and make decisions for themselves- to begin the journey towards self-regulation… Prize or price? The choice is theirs.