Wednesday this week was the hottest day. Crowds flocked to the beaches at Bournemouth and social distancing was nowhere to be seen. Things were out of control.
I wonder how I would have felt if I had been a local child, I had gone down to the beach early with my family keeping my distance from others . As the day progressed and the sun got hotter more and more people arrived, the beach got busier and being able to keep two metres away became Impossible. I think I would have felt anxious, stressed, uncomfortable and, would likely have left the beach in order to keep safe.
In contrast to this, on Father's Day my family visited the beach at West Wittering. We had to book in advance and there were many signs as you drove towards the beach that it was closed except for advanced bookings. The car park was busier than I had ever seen it and yes, there were lots of people on the beach, however they were able to keep their distance and we felt safe.
The difference between the two were that at West Wittering, someone was IN CONTROL. They had anticipated the problems and put measures in place to help the public regulate their own behaviour.
This makes me think of the strategies we use with our own children whether at home, at school or in our early years settings. When we are in control they feel safe, we give them the space and security to SELF regulate but, at the end of the day we make it clear what the expectations and boundaries are and this helps them to feel safe.
The opposite extreme of out of control is CONTROLLING. This makes them feel like they have no freedom, they are not allowed to think for themselves. What they are allowed to do is completely controlled by us.
They feel anxious when things are out of control, they feel constrained when we are controlling but they feel safe with freedom within safe boundaries when we are in control .
If you are heading to a beach this summer have fun and stay safe!
Ali
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Ali!cClure specialises in Brilliant Behaviour. Her summer blog A-Z of Brilliant Behaviour will be launching soon, in the meantime join Ali on one of her unforgettable online courses. They will help you really understand why your children behave as they do and leave you with deceptively simple strategies that help you support them towards Brilliant Behaviour now and in the future